Even best dating websites can't help!
IT has long been established that if a man wants to cheat he
will cheat, no matter how good is the woman he has at home. And there is
nothing you can do to stop a man from cheating on you if he has made up his
mind to do so. Even if you are loyal.
Forty-one-year-old Georgina S said after 13 years, her
husband cheated, and nothing she said or did seemed to make a difference.
"I know for sure that no matter how loyal you are, if
he wants to cheat he will cheat," Georgina said. "I never once went
outside my marriage. And one day he looked at me and told me that he wished I
would cheat even once just so I would understand why he does it."
"Very simply put, men cheat because they can," clinical
psychologist Ashlei McFarlane said. "Of course, not all men cheat, so I am
speaking only of the subset that actually do."
McFarlane said researchers have identified the following as
some reasons why men cheat:
1. Gender. Men are more likely than women to commit
infidelity, largely because men have more testosterone, which is one of the
fuels for sex drive.
2. Relationship reasons. He may cheat because he feels
dissatisfied with the relationship. This can be because of lack of sexual
desires being fulfilled, spouse unavailability due to work, school or family
commitments.
"A lot of men complain of feeling left out after the
birth of a child, for example, and long to be the centre of attention
again," McFarlane said.
3. Situational reasons. "Others cheat because of the
situation. A man might not have a personality prone to cheating, and might be
in a perfectly happy relationship, but something about his environment puts him
at risk for infidelity," McFarlane said. "Alcohol is known to lower
one's inhibitions, so a few drinks coupled with being alone in an intimate
setting, say, after work with a co-worker, can lead to cheating. An
overabundance of women in the work or school setting, for instance in our
tertiary institutions where the females outnumber the males by far in many
programmes, is another reason. This can lead the man in a relationship to feel
as though he is a kid in a candy store."
4. Work environment. Work environments that involve close
contact and touching between co-workers have been known to spark workplace
romances even among those who are married or already in relationships.
5. The 80/20 rule. "A man will generally only get about
80 per cent of his needs satisfied by any one woman. Some men will accept this
as the way it is, while others will decide to fill the last 20 per cent with
someone else," McFarlane said. "So a man in a committed relationship
or marriage will have his gorgeous, classy, educated, loyal wife, the mother of
his children, his arm candy at social and business functions, but she does not
know how to fill his wildest sexual fantasies and some men even feel it would
be out of order to request that their beautiful wife perform such acts. So he
goes to the girl who is less inhibited but perhaps is not wife material, but
she will go on her head top and whatever else he requests so that he can have a
good time and go back home to his family a happy man," she explained.
McFarlane explained that the whole socialisation that black
men go through to say that this is the norm is also a contributing factor to
cheating on loyal women.
"I believe that has been hammered so much into some men's
heads that it becomes a part of who they are even though they are married or in
committed relationships," she added. "Some also do it for the thrill
of the chase, like it gives them a rush to see that they can get this one and
that one."
source:http://www.jamaicaobserver.com
source:http://www.jamaicaobserver.com
